Bon Iver ‘715 – CR∑∑KS’ Song Review

I don’t know why I do this to myself, but yes I am reviewing another Bon Iver track despite my disdain for the last one. I’m doing this because I feel I owe it to myself to not give up on the project despite how much I hated ‘666 ʇ’. So with that in mind, please lord don’t let this track suck…

I have one word… Wow… But don’t worry, not in the good sense, but rather in the sense of ‘I am in disbelief at why anyone would buy this new album’. This song, or poem, or whatever the heck it is meant to be, is a complete disaster. How can anyone in their right mind stick up for any of the pointless crap Bon Iver has released in this new album? This track is literally one person, crooning a nonsensically pretentious poem badly through a rough microphone, using one of the worst auto-tune plugins I have ever heard for 2 minutes. Yet still people are fighting over this rubbish? It is awful, damn near un-listenable and an insult to the creation of music. Everyone is raving over how this a master-stroke and how the production is magnificent, but no, this is the worst produce pile of slop I’ve had to review.

So let’s take a moment to review the instrumentation. There is none.

Let’s take a moment to review the musicality of the track. There is none.

Okay then, finally let’s take a moment to review the production of the track. It’s a shambles and literally just one man talking.

I can’t believe my eyes when I read such comments as, “this just cuts too deep into the soul” and, “this song, to me, is the most powerful and emotional on the album”,  are you deluded or just defensive because you know it’s terrible? I get it, supposedly the track was made with a brand new instrument created just for the track and that the lyrics are attempting to be philosophical about being lost or stuck, but that doesn’t make it good, that makes it a really long-winded attempt at being artsy when all you did was croon with some slobbery auto tune.

I am appalled that the Bon Iver fan-base is letting the group get away with this sub-par music (if you can even call it that). There is no thought that has gone into any instrumentation throughout the album, there is no soul to any tracks and there is no substance to any phrase at all. This album could be made for less than £200 in less than 5 hours but no it’s considered art and methodical just because Bon Iver made it? Shame on you music fans for allowing a famous group like this to get away with it, if One Direction had made this album you all would of tore it apart critically.Let that be food for thought.

1/10 – Again another completely awful track off of the new Bon Iver album.


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