I’m almost frightened to make this review; Gaga fans are unrelenting beans who are volatile at the best of times. Of course, as you might already know, I have already reviewed two tracks from this upcoming album, those being ‘Million Reasons’ and ‘Perfect Illusion’, both of which I felt a little indifferent towards. I got barraged with people disagreeing with me over my lack of enthusiasm towards ‘Million Reasons’, but that’s what makes music fun. It’s subjective and what I like you may hate and vice versa. So this time around, don’t take what I say too seriously because this is just my opinion; I’m giving you my review of the track from my perspective. So with no further adieu, let’s get on and review this track.
This is probably my least favourite Gaga track in years (ah, this is going to rustle some jimmies). Although I admire how she is going for a much more natural and personal approach to music, I just felt this song missed the mark on so many levels. The track just had no substance to it, it had nothing to really hold onto and remember it by. The doo-wop beat and swing style to the track didn’t suit Gaga at all and it came off sounding like a bog standard Meghan Trainor track (that hurt to say, it honestly did, God I hate Meghan Trainor). It just felt so bland and unimaginative; I’m disappointed, I really am.
Production wise the track was okay, but it did feel very over-produced at times. Gaga’s voice felt more natural and raw which is as improvement, but the instrumentals felt more processed and electronic which is a big step back. The guitar had a hideous tone for it every time it popped up, the drums sounded like they were being played through a midi keyboard dry and the bass just didn’t do it for me. It meshed together into this really generic mess; sounded like royalty free background music.
Musicality wise the song was predictable and forgettable. It had no interesting transitions, nothing of value and just felt fundamentally weak. The common time drum beat/clap never swayed once and just got repetitive after the first minute; would it kill for a pop track to change it up a bit! The rhythm of the track just drifted along never changing, coming across as ever so bland. The vocal performance, although very strong in parts, was weakened by terrible lyrics. After listening to Funeral For Bird and Future Theory with their retrospective efforts before this, I’ve got to say that I will of forgotten about this track as soon as this review is published. Before I forget however, let’s talk about the hook… Probably the worst vocal hook I’ve heard this week; predictable, lifeless and plain (I’d expect a hook like this from Nicki Minaj, not from ‘a genius songwriter’).
The lyrics, like I prior mentioned, are awful. I see people all the time raving over how raw and natural Gaga’s lyrics are, especially on this upcoming album, but if this track is anything to go by, I’d say they are more than deluded. ‘I can’t wait to smoke them all, whole pack like Marlboro, blow it in your face, blow it in your face, blow it in your, blow it in your face’, gosh Gaga what beautiful phrases! Now I know not every track has to be a heartfelt, metaphorical, poetry fest, but even Bad Romance had better lyrics than these. These lyrics aren’t fun, they’re obnoxious, and that obnoxiousness is intensified when you read peoples comments saying, ‘she wants to be Stefani and she wants to talk, express herself through her songs’, like what is she expressing here? That she wants to blow smoke in particular peoples faces? Great! Before you state, ‘oh you’re just picking the worst lines to make yourself look good’, then what about this, ‘I can’t wait to blaze for real, track burns like a road rail, spin it in your face’? That line is so bad, so cheesy, so cliche, so nonsensical that I can’t even form a sophisticated comment on it due to it’s immaturity.
Overall, just another garbage pile to throw in the trash with all the other pop tracks this week, shame on you Gaga, shame on you.
3/10 – Waste of my time.