Bon Jovi ‘Knockout’ Song Review

This song is bad… Sound the alarm, this song is bad, oh so bad *cough* I can’t *cough* sound the alarm dammit! Yeah, in case you didn’t already know, this song is bad. Have I ever been a Bon Jovi fan? God no. Have I appreciated what they have done for the music industry? Well not really, but it would be harsh to say no so… Yeah I guess? My problem with Bon Jovi, isn’t Bon Jovi per say (sounds weird but hear me out), it’s more what they started and the copies who followed. Bon Jovi helped start the atrocious glam rock/glam metal scene over in America, a scene that nearly killed all the good work Britain did with heavy metal in the 80’s. Although it’s an unpopular opinion, I hated Bon Jovi, hated Van Halen, hated Motley Crue and hated Ratt. I thought the music was technical garbage, that it was cheesy, that it was fake and that it was difficult to listen to. With all that being said, let’s get back to the original point here… Bon Jovi released a new song and it’s bad… Want to know more? Then keep reading…

The production is real weak. The bass had no presence in the mix, the drum kit had the weakest toms and snare I’ve heard all year and the vocals cut through the mix unnecessarily. There is no cohesion or mesh; each individual part sounded like an individual part rather than contributing to an overall texture. The guitar also sounded so weak and lame; no tone, no crunch and it just sounded robotic. The producer had a bad day here, especially in that chorus… Yikes…

Musicality wise I thought I was listening to a Coldplay cover… What were they thinking! I mean admittedly Bon Jovi have never been known for particularly clever songs, but here there is no creativity or effort at all put in. Why oh why would a hair rock/glam rock group go down the indie rock route? It just sounded so awfully unnatural. It sounded out dated, forced and just poor really. If this had been an unsigned group, I would of immediately thought it was a pub troupe. Why? Because it sounded like a terrible impersonation of a glam rock group, one you’d hear down the Brickies or something.

The form of the track is of your average pop song, but boy do we need to talk about that middle eighth. That guitar solo has to be the worst one I’ve heard this month, not to mention the shortest one. The bridge must of been what, 10 seconds long? That’s worse than just not having a bridge!

Vocally the track is unbelievably bad. I hope for all Bon Jovi fans that this is a one off, because this track sounded a lot like Jon had lost his voice. It sounded like an impersonation, he crooned his way through the whole track never hitting a single note outside of the monotone range he started with. Each note was either louder or quieter; there is no melody.

Lyrically the song came across super cheesy and again, forced. They were clearly trying to devise a stadium banger here, but it is more of a pop than a bang. That chorus, oh God that chorus, I’m not going to moan any longer, I’m just going to say that chorus is dreadful in every way.

So all in all? Bleugh… Miss this one foks, it’s not even funny, it’s just sad…

1/10 – No redeemable factors… Just all bad…

 

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