The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey ‘Closer’ Song Review

I’m actually not one of the 545,342,781 people who have already heard this song funnily enough. I saw no need to back before I started this site; it came out over a month before and I thought it was old news. But now the new music video has gone up and the hype behind the track has been rekindled, I sort of have to review it. It’s by far one of the biggest tracks of the year and people seem to really, really love it. Judging by the DJ/group and features on the track, I can’t say I really understood why. Like I know Chainsmokers have had a huge amount of commercial success, but I didn’t think anyone really cared about them directly…? Obviously I was wrong. So let’s take on this juggernaut by the horns and review the crap out of it!

Yeah the song isn’t good. It’s just not. I really don’t understand why it blew up this much? It’s not particularly catchy, it’s not funny, it’s not memorable; it just sounds like any other pop song out at the moment? The feature isn’t that great and the lyrics are laughably bad; why do people like this track so much? Looking at the comment section, all I see are people saying how beautiful the girl is in the music video and how the song makes them want to steal a mattress… Am I missing something here?

Production wise I actually thought the track was sub par in comparison to competition. Recently I reviewed the new Set Mo track that I didn’t really like and even that had a better production value than this track. The guitar (or whatever it’s meant to be) sounds so generated and robotic that it sucks out any sincerity from the track. The vocals sound so tampered with that Halsey comes across as the most generic singer on earth. The bass is so weak that my subwoofer couldn’t even pick it up; that’s not a good sign for an electronic based track. The lead synth isn’t particularly wondrous either; it again sounds generic. The pads are the best part of the track because they remind me a little of ambient music; that’s my biggest compliment, weak right…

Musicality wise… Heck why am I even doing this section, there isn’t any musicality. It’s your stereotypical chart song, with a simple form, simple structure, simple beat and simple lyrics. Nothing varies, nothing new is introduced and the whole track is practically monotone in my opinion. The melodies are made up of an eight bar ostinato which isn’t particularly catchy or memorable. The song is just so plain, so, so, so plain.

Having mentioned lyrics, these ones are bad. The whole ‘backseat of my car’ thing was cool in the 90’s when boybands used it but now it sounds cliche as heck. All the lyrics to me sound a little dated and temporary; it’s a summer song that’s been released right on the tail end of summer hence losing it’s relevancy almost immediately in my opinion. Halsey’s vocal performance is lacklustre to say the least. She’s generic pop singer #2323. I saw that she got the ‘Rising Star’ award with Billboard this year, why? Judging on this track, beats me…

Overall the track is just a generic spewing of charting bewilderment. If you had asked me to listen to this track the day it came out, I would of said it had no chance of reaching the top ten… How it got there, I don’t know… I guess we only have ourselves to blame.

3/10 – I won’t remember this in T-Minus 1 day.

 

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